I boxed the shit he left behind up and have begun to sell most of it on Craigslist. I have made enough money so far to buy myself a couple steak dinners and a fancy new wardrobe. I also sent his number to several gay ads that I came across on Craigslist so I'm sure he's been spending quite a bit of time warding off the boys.
All of this still wasn't enough. My heart still hurt rather badly. I upped the ante and listed his "toy" (a sports car) on Ebay. That brought a pretty penny which I deposited into my newly opened bank account in case of a rainy day. Still not enough.
Luckily, he called to ask if I would drop his shampoo off at his father's house (it's some special shit for balding men). I politely agreed, but before I dropped it off, I added a little Nair to the mix. I so hope he enjoys my concoction.
My heartache has subsided slightly, but I'm sure the pain will arise again sooner or later. Let's just hope the bastard has sense enough to stay away from me. I'd hate to have him leave missing a ball or two. So to Dick, I award five golden cocks for being the most selfish and ignorant asshole I know.
5 comments:
Aah man! So sorry too hear this Ms. Suzie. He is indeed a big Ass for leaving you! I actually hope the door DID hit him on the way out.
But even though he is an Ass, it most be hard, since you did spend a life with him :(. But you come across as a strong and cool lady! So you'll survive! I wish you all the strength you need! Take care *hug*
Posting his number to gay ads? Ouch!
@TJ: Thanks for your well wishes. I will be fine. At this point, all I care about are my kids.
@Dan: Well I sure as hell won't trying to set him up with some decent chick now, was I? =)
Nair in his shampoo? Revenge is sweet, ha ha.
@Kate: That it is!
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