Senile Penile Products

Can someone please explain to me what in the hell is up with all the "make your penis larger" ads being played repeatedly over the radio stations? They make it sound like size is the only thing that matters and I can tell you, that is the biggest (no pun intended) crock of shit I've ever heard. I don't care if you had the biggest, thickest johnson in the world -- if you can't back it up with personality and charm -- fuck ya!

With that said, this week's golden cock award goes to the makers of all "penis products" (enlargement pills, Viagra, Cialis). These assholes deserve to be thrown in hell for what they have done. They've made the good men think size is the most important thing, thus causing them to act like complete assholes around women. And now the old perves have the opportunity to act like complete assholes too, hoping to get a little something-something. Ugh!

So to all the "penis players" out there -- I award you five golden cocks and hope you fuck off and die. I hope your dick shrivels up, falls off, and lands in a tub of acid. I then hope your balls develop gang green and need to be surgically removed in a hospital that doesn't use anesthesia. And to all the guys out there who think size is all that counts, get your head out your ass and realize women need more than a big dick.