Neighborhood Crime Bitch

My neighborhood is usually quiet (with the exception of the bitch brigade a.k.a. the other mothers) so I was disturbed to learn we've been having some crime lately. Cars have been broken into and mailboxes have been vandalized. After having my own mailbox smashed twice, I figured it was time to do something. I've never been one to sit back and just take it.

I took a nice long nap yesterday, preparing for my all-nighter. I put the kids to bed, donned my neighborhood crime bitch attire (all black obviously), and hid myself behind some bushes and waited. My plan was flawed as I had absolutely nothing to do but sit and watch, so I was bored as hell. About 12:30 in the morning, I spotted three teenage punks sneaking down the streets. Sure enough, they were pushing over mailboxes again. I dialed 911 and waited. Just as they were about to approach my box, I jumped out of the bushes and said if you value your balls, I'd rethink touching that mailbox.

Stunned, they turned to look at me and just as they were about to run, the police car was pulling in. Being as they were underage, I'm sure they were just taken back to their parents. Hopefully this will end the crime spree and if not, I'll be armed with a paintball gun next time. What is it with kids these days?