I really need to find a new grocery store. Not only are the old perves a constant nuisance, there now seems to be a stalker to deal with. The last several times I've went grocery shopping, this employee follows me up and down the aisles -- to the point my son even asks why is this guy following us? I'm not sure if he has some mental issues or if he is just a nutjob, but I couldn't take it yesterday.As I rounded the third aisle, I realized the stalker was hot on my tail yet again. I finally said enough is enough and turned around. Staring at him like I wanted nothing more than to run him over repeatedly with my cart, I stood there -- waiting. He finally realized I wasn't going anywhere and tried to leave.
I followed him.
Everywhere he went, so did I. Giving him a taste of his own medicine, he finally realized what I was doing. He slowly headed to the back of the store and disappeared behind the doors with the sign that read employees only. Fuck that -- I went too. I continued to follow him until he finally turned around and said you're not supposed to be back here to which I replied:
"Oh really? And I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to be stalking the customers. You see those milk crates over there? If you ever follow me around this store again, I will personally stuff your crazy ass into one and put you in the cardboard baler. I will then flick the switch and giggle as the damn thing crushes your worthless little body. Have I made myself clear?"
The loon nodded and I walked back out, finished my shopping, and carried my ass home.
(Suzie +1 -- Stalker 0)
9 comments:
You should print this out.
It will come in handy when your son's teacher asks:
"Where do you think he could have learned something like that?"
@Moooooog35: That's a really scary thought.
That was a hilarious account of a scary experience.
Honestly, as it appears you did a wonderful job by letting the stalker learn a good lesson, but I would be a bit worried about doing something of this kind especially in presence of kids.
I hope he has got the message right.
Just be extra careful and have a good time.
Cheers!!
@Chatterbox: Luckily, the kids weren't with me on that occasion. Not sure I would have went through with it had they been. And I too am hoping he got the message -- loud and clear.
Lol, this was very entertaining to read. The sad thing is I had the creep at my supermarket in mind...though he's not as bad as your creep.
You can't switch supermarkets quite yet, you must go back and see if her learned his lesson!
@Lauren: I plan on it. I also have a plan if it didn't work. It involves that milk crate and the cardboard baler. =P
Way to go! Maybe you stopped this loony tune from doing something terrible to you or someone else. Stalkers should not be tolerated. I probably would have gone to the manager as well.
ROFL! LMAO! Nicely played!
@askcherlock: Had the manager not been busy arguing with a little old lady about catfood, I would have.
@willowandwattle: Thanks!
Post a Comment