I hate grocery shopping. It has to be the worst chore ever (aside from scrubbing pissy toilet seats). It probably doesn't help that my local market tends to be the hangout for horny, old men. You know the kind -- they stare you up and down, casting you in their mental pornos while grabbing their crotch as if they've developed a sudden itch. Every once in a while, I guess the grabbing gets good to them and the utter stupid shit. Yesterday, I had enough.They saw me as soon as I walked in. The hairy old bastard is the worst. He will stare at me like I would never notice. He does not care who sees him fondling his (lack of a) package. He is downright rude and I was flat out pissy (I was in the middle of making homemade mac and cheese when I realized I was out of milk). I knew this was going to get ugly.
As usual, looking like a duck with ducklings in tow, I dash down the aisle, grab the milk, and proceed to check out. The cashier rings my purchase, I pay, and I head for the door. Just as I reach the door, there went the comment -- Will you look at the ass on her.
Now keep in mind that my kids were with me and this comment was made loud enough for all in earshot to hear.
I completely lost it at this point. I did not want my kids to witness what I was about to do so I had them sit on the bench by the door (facing the opposite direction) and gave them my mobile phone to take pictures of the birds outside. I then walked over to the hairy bastard and told him that not only did I have an ass, I could act like one as well. I opened the milk, poured it down his pants, and for once this man was speechless.
Needless to say, we didn't have mac and cheese last night, but I feel better knowing the milk was used for a greater purpose.
19 comments:
Signorina - while I wouldn't encourage making a habit of your "direct action", at least it's nice to see an instance of Miss Manners picking up the proverbial revolver and shooting back at rudeness. Such sexist behaviour as you endured should not be tolerated; but the best way of dealing with it is turning its practitioners into pariahs. I do think the dirty old man in your case had some explaining to do when he got home; the idea that he spilled milk on himself or that he was the victim of an unprovoked milk attack, sounds really weak.
That's fucking funny!
Hell yeah! Sometimes you just gotta react to those old garbage's remarks or you'll feel bad to not having given them what they deserved. Way to go Suzie!
@Green Curmudgeon: You know, I hope the bastard is married and has to explain to his wife why he's in such shape. I then hope she has a similar reaction.
@WagerWitch: I'll admit, I laughed the whole time I was writing this post.
@morinn: I was scared my son would see what I did and I'd have to explain why I did it, but thank god he didn't. I feel the old man definitely got what he deserved.
Totally deserves it, if someone said that about my mom i would do much more......wat was he thinkin sayin that to a woman with her kids with her
I prefer the eye fuck followed by a licking of the lips. Much classier.
@amrhima: What was he thinking saying that period? Some things are better left thought of and not spoken.
@ALN: You would...perve!
If you find that bastard again, leave your puppy cat to decide, what to do with that leftover milk, with a lil, unwanted flesh like a mouse
That is awesome. I can only imagine his face.
Ha Ha, and to think a week ago you would have just stabbed him with a fork.
@Derek: Yes, the look on his face was absolutely priceless.
@FreakSmack: See, I took your advice and put down the forks. :)
i wish i could've seen that! thanks for making me laugh out loud :)
Wow...
...just Wow!
@Jayden Vasara: You are more than welcome.
@Funologie Editor: I'm thinking he may have had a different reaction.
Horray! You are my hero & possibly other victims of perverted old men. Serves him right. And to think you were with your kids, tss.
Was passing by. Your post made me laugh out loud. :)
@pam: Yes, I probably wouldn't have been quite as bothered if my kids weren't with me. Glad I could make you laugh -- that's always a good thing.
a HUGE BRAAAAAA-VOOOO to you!!!!!!!!!
@BellyDance Girl: Thank you!
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