You know something that really sets my toes on fire? Not being told things in advance. It pisses me off not to have the appropriate amount of time to plan things out. I absolutely despise having to run around like a crackhead with no crack trying to get things in order for something that should have been told to me a little sooner.Apparently, Dick decided to invite his parents over for dinner last night and I didn't find this out until yesterday afternoon. That left me only a couple of hours to figure out what we'd eat, go to the store, tidy the house, and prepare a meal fit for a king. Me, being the great Suzie that I am, somehow managed to pull it off.
Something else that boils my blood -- idle chit chat. I really don't care that my father-in-law knows everything and is willing to share his vast knowledge of all things worldly. I would rather get into the real meat and potatoes. I want to know why their son is the way he is. Did they drop him on his head as a child and if so, can I do it again to balance him back out? But no such luck there -- I just had to sit and endure Dick's father's tale of two shitties.
And last (but not least), it really burns my butt cheeks when it is obvious how much effort I put into creating a meal fit for even Jesus himself, yet when everyone is done, no one offers a hand in the clean up. You don't mind walking in my home, eating my food, boring me with your drivel, and you can't even put your dishes in the sink? Puh-lease!
This only happens once every other month or so (thank the lord of all things sanity). But tonight, we are definitely having TV dinners.
14 comments:
Just a thought, the next time he wants to do this, say as sweetly as possible, "Why don't you do a BBQ?" If he is the type of man I think he is, he won't be able to resist the lure of setting things on fire. Better still, such dinners are accompanied by paper plates.
@GreenCurmudgeon: I love the way you think! Too bad I can't shrink you and carry you around in my pocket. :P
Suzie -
Feel free to email me whenever you need a diabolical plot. :)
@GreenCurmudgeon: I shall fill your inbox with tons of devious plot requests.
Oh my goodness! this would have pissed me slam off! My exhusband pulled a slick one on me one time. He invited over a coworker and his wife. He called and told me they were coming, I didnt have to worry about anything, they were going to bring everything to do hamburgers if I could just pick up some chips. Why sure I could...I was doing absolutely nothing! (yea right!) I worked 12 to 14 hours a freaking day! on any account, they show up, exhubby lights the grill, exhubby and coworker leave (mind you i didnt know these people) to go pick up a car the coworker bought. Im having to get to know the flake wife. I make the hamburger patties expecting her to help or offering to help and she says "how can you stand doing that?" I look at her like she is the flake that she is and asked her what i was doing.."touching that meat". Long story short, the flake didnt cook, never learned to cook, always ate out, squimished over raw meat..but the real pisser here, she wanted me to cook 8 hamburger patties for them the next day!!! Having somewhat of a temper, I pretty much told her what i thought.
the story does get better.I had her calling her hubby to hurry and get her after I told her messing with raw meat is nothing, she should try ramming her arms elbow deep into a birthing heffer to assist in delivering the calf. She asked if i had ever done that...well duh, yea, i own and work on the farm!
she asked when did i do that..i said about 3 hours before you showed up. She went on commenting how disgusting it was and i said "well i didnt have to time to change, sorry about the placenta on my shirt"
(actually it was from where i spilled coffee earlier but the flake didnt know)
Needless to say exhubby chewed me out, and the unwanted company left because for some reason she was feeling terribly sick on her stomach. I however had a nice free hamburger supper!
@Haley: Haha! I love it. Too bad they had already picked up the meat. Could you imagine what she would have done if you told her you had single handed-ly slaughtered the cow you were getting ready to eat? I bet she would've thrown up on the spot!
hahahaaha yea that would have been pretty cool!
Intriguing story, and a pissoff as well. If these people are as insensitive as you describe, why not just give them the Talladega Nights meal? You know, the Taco Bell/Pizza Hut/KFC combo. A meal fit for a king.
The Burger King, that is.
I will be back again. Your profile matches your prose!
ExpatFromHell
@Expat From Hell: You know, I think I would have rather ate dinner with The Burger King (even as scary as I find him especially in the new "square booty" commercial).
LMAO...tale of two shitties..classic...!!
I can beat that...when my in-laws visit, his mother takes over my vegetarian kitchen and cooks everything in pig fat. I'm left to eat salad and water while they feast on Louisianna's best fried everything.
@Lotus: How horrendous of her! Perhaps you should slip a little Exlax in her dessert to teach her a lesson.
I know that when I cook the most important things are that people enjoy the meal I have just prepared and that it is appreciated - them clearing up afterwards would be a bonus, I suppose!
lmao @ exlax
@Russell: I just feel if I'm going to entertain you with my charm and wit, you could at least offer to help clean up.
@Crystal Raven: Exlax usually makes me lmao (unless I take it, then it's a whole other story).
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