Sunday

Golden Cock Award - Brian

I get so sick and tired of the stupid men I encounter. The ones that think they can play games, beat around the bush, and get mad when I don't fall for their bullshit. I have decided to start a weekly post in honor of all these douche-bags. I will award one lucky guy the golden cocks (1 cock means they aren't that bad and 5 cocks means they are pure assholes). This week's award goes to Brian -- my air conditioning guy.

Brian has been to my house four times to fix my AC. Each time, he replaced something, told me it would work, and left with a check in his hand. Each time, what he did didn't work, I'm still sweating my ass off, and he has to come back. I even asked him if he'd just replace the whole unit as it would probably end up costing about the same if he kept replacing parts he thought were bad.

Brian returned yesterday to replace some coil that he promised would fix my problem. After he was done, he told me that he was going to be sad now. I asked him why and he said that he wouldn't be able to see me. He said he could no longer keep replacing things as an excuse to see me and figured he'd ask me out to dinner now.

So let me get this straight -- this ass has known what was wrong with my AC, but refused to fix it just so he could work on buttering me up. I've been sweating my ass off in my own home because this bastard was working up the nerve to ask me out? That is pathetic. Let me guess, if we did start dating, I'd be in a constant state of "wait" while he took his time making decisions and actually doing something. Thanks, but I'll pass.

I'm giving Brian three golden cocks (it would have been four, but he did refund my money for the fictitious work he had done) and a swift kick in the ass.

13 comments:

Derek Bowles said...

Ahahahah! That's pretty awesome. You must be quite the lady to have the AC guy coming back for seconds (thirds? fourths?) and you didn't even do anything.

Miss Suzie said...

@Derek: He must have misinterpreted when I asked if he wanted something to drink. I guess he took it as a sign I had the hots for him.

Dennis A Carroll said...

One would think that an air conditioning guy would know what's hot and what's not.

Have a great day, Miss.

Miss Suzie said...

@Dennis: Haha! You would think, but I guess not.

Cooking Asshole said...

Are you going to be nice to Dick for Father's Day? Have any big plans?

missmultifaceted said...

hahaha he reminds me of the cable guy that couldnt hook my cable up properly, when i went to the basement to find out what the hell was wrong after he left the 4th time I found out he had plugged the cable into the wrong spot! when I confronted him it was the exact same story!

missmultifaceted said...

ps... forgot to say this is Disposablepixi

Miss Suzie said...

@ALN: I did send Dick a text saying "Happy Father's Day" and spent the evening with my own father.

@missmultifaceted: Why can't they just say, "Hey, I think you're hot. Want to have dinner sometime?" It would save so much unnecessary drama.

Being and Quirkiness said...

hahaha, excellent Miss Suzie.

Robin said...

Haha, as I was reading I thought "the guy probably meant it as a joke when he said that", but then you write about how he refunded you and I nearly fell out of my chair!

What an idiot, I mean seriously. That's about the worst way to hit on a women.

Robin

Miss Suzie said...

@Being: Why, thank you!

@Robin: I thought it was rather idiotic myself, but I've actually seen and heard worse. :(

Glen said...

I wish I'd known that being incompetent could be used as a chat up technique! I've spent all these years trying to cover it up.

Miss Suzie said...

@Glen: Haha! Trust me, a technique it may be, but it isn't a very good one. :)