I love when someone tries to insult you, but they can't seem to find anything bad to say. They fumble over their words looking for any flaw and continue to come up empty handed. The look on their face shows their intent -- they want to hurt your feelings, but just don't know how. Lucky for me, I'm damn near perfect (kidding).Listening to Dick trying to insult me has to be one of my all time favorite pastimes. Seeing him searching his mental databank for anything to throw at me is more amusing than watching a woman walk in six inch heels after one too many drinks. I love it! He always fails to come up with anything remotely hurtful and looks like a jackass in the end.
Apparently, Dick has decided to delay selling the house (I have no idea why, but whatever). I tried to inquire as to why the hell he'd do that and the verbal games began. The usual bitch and whore ensue, neither of which I am so it doesn't affect me at all. Then comes the you were never good at (fill in the blank with pretty much anything) as to which I know better and it goes in one ear and out the other.
By the time the conversation was over, he was verbally spent and I was laughing like hell. I offered a simple I didn't know you felt that way followed by the dial tone and that was the sword in his side. When will he learn, he'll never win with me?
So here we are, back to square one. I have no idea what is going on inside Dick's pea-brain. He is apparently more confused than I had originally thought. I'm hoping he'll pull his shit together sometime soon and figure out what the hell he's doing. Until then, I'm going to continue doing what I do -- writing about it.
11 comments:
This is probably another one of those cases where he thinks one thing and ends up saying the opposite.
@ALN: This is typical Dick behavior. I'm left reading between the lines and in the end, all I have to offer is my middle finger.
I have to empathize with Dick. It must take a lot of courage to stand up and verbally push back - much less make eye-contact. I can only see myself cringing if, uh...say I was to criticize (tastefully of course) your choice for mascara or you should sit straighter when you are at the keyboard, or something, and you were to immediately stand up, put one hand on your hips, and stride forward, you finger pointed right at my face.
I can't imagine how I would handle it. I'm sure I would have scary dreams that night. Maybe even see you in 6-inch high heels as you came forward. Wake up with a sweat!
So I have to give Dick his due. He certainly deserves SOME credit.
("Whew..." the artist breathed. "I can't believe I opened up like this." His hand trembled as he clicked the Post Comment button.
@ Suzie
I would have to agree. People should mean what they say and say what they mean. If one has not learned this at such an age it is doubtful they ever will.
@Ralph: The only credit I'm giving Dick at this point is for not only making my life a living hell, but acting like a complete ass while doing so.
He needs to be more creative. Something like "Remember, that one time when you had pink eye? Yeah, I farted on your pillow".
That better not be why I got pink eye that one time!
@Derek and ALN: Haha!!!
ALN- It was
The name DICK says it all. I wonder what his surname is? Not HEAD by any chance rofl?
@yanjiaren: How did you guess? :)
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