Seriously Lacking

I'm not sure what's wrong with the women around here, but I for one am sick of it. I'm tired of tits and ass in my face everywhere I go. I'm tired of being bombarded with cleavage and ass cracks at every turn. I can no longer take having to turn my head to avoid seeing girly bits and have decided to start speaking up.

It started at a local superstore. While trying to find the proper nails for puncturing teen driver's tires, I see this lady bending down looking for something. After hearing my son giggling, I turned to be confronted with nothing but ass crack. The woman's pants were either two sizes too small or cut two inches too low. I finally approached her and whispered in her ear that she may want to pull her pants up or her shirt down because the sight isn't very pleasing.

The next incident happened at the grocery store. While searching for the perfect blueberries for the pie that I wanted to lace and bake (yes, another exlax surprise for my lovely neighbors) I was greeted with massive amounts of cleavage. I finally walked up to Miss Shit and told her she may need a new bra as it was obvious her current one wasn't supporting the twins properly.

The last episode was at a hobby store. As I was trying to find parts for my son's model rocket, I noticed a chick that was obviously lost. This bitch had on a mini skirt with her ass cheeks on parade and a shirt that looked like it belonged to her two year old and she just happened to feel like squeezing into it that morning. Her clear high heel shoes looked like something found at a strip club. I tried to keep my mouth shut, but that just wasn't going to happen. I finally approached her and told her she was lost and that the gentlemen's club was a few blocks down on the right.

All of these women were rightfully pissed at my remarks, but I will continue to call them out. If I have to be subjected to their lack of clothing, they shall be subjected to my blunt opinion – seems fair to me.