I cannot believe the balls Dick possesses. How the hell do you leave your family for over three weeks and then invite them to go fishing with you like nothing has happened? What makes him think I will simply overlook the fact that he's been cuddling up to strippers for affection and accept an invitation to do anything other than string him up by the balls? I swear this man has been drinking some silly juice to think I would be remotely interested.I'd rather date the Devil than spend even a second with Dick. I'd don a bright red, satin dress with my longest, spikiest heels. I'd walk hand in hand with the demon. We'd eat at a fine restaurant and pick the warmest corner to sit. He'd entertain me with idle tales and utter lies, but I wouldn't care. He'd trick me into coming back to his place for a nightcap and I'd find myself trapped in the depths of hell for eternity. This appeals to me so much more than being on a boat with Dick.
I ended up answering his text with this:
"I appreciate the offer however, I must admit that I'd rather hang myself with my own bed-sheets than to spend another moment with you. You repulse me in ways I cannot describe. It would be so kind of you to lose my number and never call or text me again. Enjoy your day and may your penis get caught in your zipper -- twice."
I am beginning to think there is truth in the old saying that some men think only with their dicks. He's such a prick! Now if you'll excuse me, Lucifer's calling.
12 comments:
Thanks for picking up the phone, I thought you wouldn't recognize my number, (666)666-6661. Make sure you wear that dress and heels. I'll take you to TGIF.
@Derek: As long as I get the potato skins, it's a deal.
Signorina - there's not much to be said except that Dick had gold in his hands, the love and warmth of family, hearth and home, and he let it slip through like quicksilver. There are a variety of names for such people: fool, wastrel, moron, idiot. But perhaps the most damning thing about him is that having lost, he refuses to acknowledge that he is a loser. This moves him into a league, the seventh circle if you will, that is beneath not just contempt, but recognition. I pray you will be able to put it all behind you as soon as possible.
Damnit, you just made me really hungry. I think I'll go make some. (That's right, home made. cheese, bacon a bit of sour cream, yummmm)
@Derek: Doesn't matter, I make them better anyway!
@Green Curmudgeon: I could not have said it any better myself. I actually feel sorry for the poor bastard.
you are going to get some funny google searches out of that post...
Ha ha Suzie,
I love it. Does you husband have any idea that you have this blog, omg?
tc/mb
@ALN: I know. I can't wait! :)
@Marcia: Actually, yes. He's just too self-absorbed to be bothered reading my garbage.
You are a powerful writer.Intense and impressive in one stride.
I hope everything settles for good in your life.
Take care and keep writing, I'd love to visit your blog often
Cheers!!
@Dialoguewithyou: Thank you for your kind words and well wishes. They are greatly appreciated!
I wanna get married and now I'm scared, I love the blog but....can things really turn out to be that way? I'm a guy but that doesn't make any difference, if things become bad they're bad for everyone.
@amrhima: My only advice to you is this -- When you get married, make sure the one you are marrying is willing to work with you at ALL times.
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