Friday

Pissy Parenting

WWSD? Suzie would have cleaned up the mess and went on about her business.

One thing I hate about cleaning my own house is the simple fact that I have to do it. I'll admit, I tend to be a little OCD when it comes to the cleanliness of my home, but that's beside the point. The one chore I hate more than the sound of Rosie O'Donnell's voice is bathrooms. It doesn't matter how clean you get it, someone's eventually going to piss all over your hard work.

Yesterday, I had the bathrooms spic and span. I eventually go to use one and there is pee all over the seat. Being as my daughter and I sit to go and Dick isn't here, I knew it had to be my son. Now, I don't know why boys have such a hard time getting it in the toilet and not on it. Perhaps you guys should lean in a little closer.

I've had the conversation about this with him numerous times. I've explained how I dislike wiping piss up all the time and how I had better things to do (like degreasing the oven), yet he continues to let it fly in the bathroom.

So being the clever little Suzie that I am, I made a concoction of lemon kool-aid and water. I then proceeded to pour it over the toilet seat. I called my son in the bathroom and told him that it was his turn to clean up the mess. I handed him a sponge and cleaner and walked out of the room (trying not to laugh as he moaned about my inability to hit the seat). I must say, he did a fine job and may have found a new appreciation for what I have to do around here.

Needless to say, the bathroom remains clean. Now, if I could just find a way to get them to put their toys back after playing with them.

13 comments:

GreenCurmudgeon said...

Signora, if you want them not to leave their toys out, give them one warning, and the next time they do it, throw said toys into the rubbish bin. Beneath some coffee grounds. If they retrieve the toy, they have to clean it off before they're allowed to bring it into the house again. Guaranteed, that amount of fuss, bother and loss will make them think twice.

Miss Suzie said...

@GreenCurmudgeon: I think I will try that (and may even sprinkle them with the leftover pee concoction for emphasis).

Cooking Asshole said...

that picture is freaking gross! The future psychiatry sessions may be expensive though.

Miss Suzie said...

@ALN: A picture is worth a thousand words and all you could come up with is gross? I agree though, but my son seems to have gotten the point. At least it wasn't #2 that I was trying to pull off.

Cooking Asshole said...

Ahem! I said "freaking gross." #2 would be "freaking nasty."

Miss Suzie said...

@ALN: Pardon my oversight and yes, #2 would have been downright wrong and the poor boy would have needed therapy for sure!

Robin said...

Personally I don't get why us guys can't just sit down when taking a piss. I don't like cleaning the toilet any more then anyone else does and cleaning up my own piss is even worse. So to avoid that I just sit down when I need to go. Heck it makes for a relaxing 2 minutes as well :).

Robin

Miss Suzie said...

@Robin: I think the whole "standing up to pee" is overrated and done to make a man feel more manly. I'm with you...sitting rocks!

Derek Bowles said...

Oh my, you may have just started a war with the kid. Beware of flying feces.

WagerWitch said...

My husband sits when he pees, especially first thing in the morning. I SOOOOO appreciate that.

But I've heard tell that there is a gender issue controversy about that - and while I don't understand it, being a woman, I wish they would all just sit down - cause the sprinkles and the drips down the side are nasty to clean up.

Miss Suzie said...

@derek bowles: I pay the allowance, so I doubt he'll do too much.

@WagerWitch: Your husband sounds like a very thoughtful man. And yes, the drips down the side make me want to puke!

stillthinking said...

Excellent lesson. I am putting that in my future parenting book for my hypothetical children.

Miss Suzie said...

@StillThinking: I have plenty more where that came from if you ever need them in the future. :)