Me? I freak the hell out and almost kill myself in the process (see, I wasn't joking).I hate spiders almost as much as I hate Dick. Seriously. I was trapped in my living room once for over an hour because one decided to hang in the doorway, taunting me with his ability to move up and down so effortlessly. I knew if I got anywhere near him, he'd pounce on me quicker than some of the horny, old (and rather limber) men at my local supermarket. So I sat there, for over an hour until my son came in from outdoors to squish him for me (yes, I get my son to kill bugs -- sue me).
The other night was no different. I had went upstairs to check on my sleeping kids before turning in myself. As all was well, I go to head back down the stairs. I clear the first two steps when something catches my eye. It's a damn spider! Without thinking, I tried to get out of the way and lost my balance. I fell the next eleven steps and landed flat on my ass!
Luckily, all I suffered was a nasty abrasion to my arm (as seen in the picture). The worst part about the whole damn scene was that after closer inspection, it wasn't a spider at all -- it was a common housefly. I almost killed myself over a fly!
So the moral of the story is this: If you don't pay attention to the details, you'll find yourself flat on your ass every time.
Now go ahead, laugh at my expense. I have some really nice things planned if you do.
[Edited to add: It turned out fuzzy, but my son took that pic and actually taped his Spiderman logo to my shirt. He is now on my list too.]
12 comments:
Hahahaha
@Derek: You've been added to my list.
Signorina - presumably the fly was there because it was a safe haven from spiders. You can't win in such a situation.
I hope you're feeling better.
@Green Curmudgeon: I know you snickered right through that nice remark. You've been added to my list as well. :)
Signorina - the last person I knew who had a list was a former employee of mine. The problem with lists is that the people who compile them tend to be too busy adding new names to actually do anything about it. ;)
Vengeance should be done swiftly and without advance warning. Besides, everyone likes surprises (mostly). ;)
@Green Curmudgeon: You do have a point, unfortunately I'm so busy right now I have to make a list for everything or I'll forget it all. :(
"I hate spiders almost as much as I hate Dick"
I know of someone who has a phobia of, well, the said organ. Mainly because theyre so funny looking apparently.
Damn! That must have hurt though.
This reminds me of something similar that happened to me a few years ago. I thought a spider had somehow landed on my shoulder (while it was only my hair) and started bouncing down the stairs to shoo it away while at the same time making weird noises. Luckily I fell on my butt. Hehe
@JonnyHo: I admit, I laughed like hell when I wrote that line!
@morinn: Haha! Good to know I'm not alone. :)
well, i was once in the shower in a supposedly good hotel and some hair fell of my head, it was a lot of hair, so it was on my body while i thought where all that hair came from. and when I realized it was a giant cockroach I screamed "IN A MACHO WAY!!" and jumped out of the tub. That was disgusting so i think i know wat you mean
I'm not laughing, well not just at you, but at myself too - a bird flew in my house some years ago and I was trapped in the front room with the door closed while it flew around the rest of the downstairs it could get to, for 2 hours! yes 2 hours! lol
@amrhima: Haha! I'm sorry for laughing, but that was funny as hell (also kind of gross though).
@Lifels: We'll just say we are laughing together. :)
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