I've been putting off clothes shopping for the longest time, but my kids decided a growth spurt was in order and the weather is staying warm. Unless I wanted to continue doing laundry every three days, we had no choice but to go shopping for summer clothes. All was well as my daughter was ooh-ing and ahh-ing over all things sparkly and girly. My son could not have cared less. All of a sudden, I felt hands grab my shoulders and I turn to see a man -- not just any man, but Dick's best friend from back in the day.Of course he complimented me on such beautiful children (you would too if you've seen them) and asked the usual how have you been and followed that by what I dreaded the most -- how is Dick? I replied with a simple I wouldn't know and braced myself for the worse.
It was at this point the hair on the back of my neck stood up. It was obvious by this prick's body language that he was pleased to hear the news. He actually smiled in a way reminiscent of the big, bad wolf from the classic children's tale. He grabbed my hand, looked in my eyes, and said so I guess you'll be needing a new man?
Oh, no he didn't!
I quickly yanked my hand from his and looked him dead in the face. I (as calmly as possible) told him that no, I did not need a new man, but if he knew where I could get a low-priced lawnmower to run over all the assholes I've encountered lately I'd be extremely interested. I then turned and walked away.
I swear, the next time I go shopping, I'm putting a sticker on my ass that reads this piece of meat is not for sale so don't bother. What is it with some guys and why me? Perhaps another date with the devil is in order. Maybe I can sweet talk him into sending them all to hell.
7 comments:
so does this mean you're going lesbian?
@Derek: No, I'm just tired of some men's behavior at the moment. It just means I'm taking a break from the bullshit.
Wow. Know I know his behavior was completely inappropriate, and although you should/would never accept his offer, it is nice to know that you still got it girl.
I mean seriously, not one ounce of, "Hey, I could if I wanted to." Not him, per say, but any guy.
Either way you did good buy telling him whats up.
-Steph.
@Steph: You have to wonder about a man who is so quick to throw himself at you like that. If I was looking for a quick lay, I would stand on a city corner if you know what I mean. :)
Like I said, it wasn't about him per say. It was about the action alone. Again, that if you wanted to you could.
Plus, nowadays, what men aren't whores? They are bigger whores then most women. This you know. I get the daily stare sessions when I go to Starbucks in the mornings, as long as they are respectful about their staring I don't really care. I can't walk around stabbing mens eyes out. This guy obviously crossed the line.
What I was saying was simple, if you were fat and ugly he wouldn't have crossed that line. Obviously he finds you attractive. The fact that you are "dicks" wife is beside the point.
Plus, I doubt that if you WERE fat and ugly you would be bragging on a blog about "i ran into one of dicks old bff's and when i told him we weren't together, he laughed and said, 'good for him, he can do ten times better'." lol.
mmk?
-Steph.
"Not for sale" sign? Is someone asked, politely of course, "Would it be possible TO RENT?" what would you say. I mean, some people just can't afford to buy, no matter what bargains might be involved.
I bought one time. But maintenance was more than I realized. I've rented ever since.
@Steph: Now I want to walk around stabbing men's eyeballs out. :)
@Ralph: Haha! For you, I'm sure we could figure something out.
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