We’ve all experienced it – the pain in the ass of having someone bitch and complain about your driving from the backseat of your own damn car. Nothing pisses me off more than having to pay attention to not only the road, but also what the dumbass behind me is saying. I hate being told what I’m doing wrong while driving. It annoys me more than running off the road while trying to text my therapist.I have devised a plan to deter those who criticize my driving ability. As soon as I begin to hear the moaning and groaning, I will simply pull the car over, look the offender dead in the face, and say you have been warned -- another word and I'll give you something to bitch about. I will then continue my journey and if another word is uttered, I will turn the journey into the ride from hell.
I will speed. I will weave in and out of traffic. I will tailgate. I will fail to use my turn signal as I pass along the shoulder. I will use my brakes harshly. I will drive so bad that the offending party will never want to ride with my ass again. Problem solved.
Backseat drivers deserve to be under your car instead of in it.
7 comments:
I can't stand back seat drivers. The last one I had was a hitchhiker with an attitude. I pulled over to the curb after telling her to shut up twice and told her to get out.
It's not your fault. You're a woman. Woman can't drive. ;p
*ducks*
I hate to admit it...I'm a nervous passenger. This is strange, because I've never been in a major car accident. So, instead of speaking up very often (which I'm somewhat guilty of, too), I make little nervous sounds (ssst, ohhh, eeee) that freak out the driver. I should probably get some sort of therapy for this.
Cheers,
Brian
Hahaha you are clearly slightly mental but funny nevertheless. You know, I agree with everything you say in this most. The MOST annoying thing about passangers though is when they try to fiddle with the radio/CD player. How DARE they?
Anyway, check out my dating disasters if you get a minute: plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
My ex-husband was a backseat driver. EX husband. Need I say more?
Ciao Suzie! I pass on the Best blog award to you ^_^! You see, I made a list with my favorite blogs, you were in it...I passed on two awards on everyone else in my list, but you already have the 'One Lovely Award' from TimeThief.
I totally agree with you on the whole -passengers who drive me insane while I drive- thing. They really should just sit back and be silent. Unfortunately life isn't that easy -_-'.
@timethief: You would think hitchhikers would be a little more grateful.
@Derek: We all know the reason women can't drive is because there's usually a Dick in the seat next to us.
@Brian: One ride with me should be therapy enough. I can promise you'll never make another noise again. =P
@plentymorefishoutofwater: I hate that as well. Next time someone messes with my radio, I will just chop of a few fingertips.
@Nanodance: I feel you on that one.
@TJ: Aww...thanks! And yes, life is never easy (but that's often the fun part).
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