About a month and a half ago, my brother and I realized that both our football teams were playing each other the first week of the season. The game would be at my team's stadium and I've never been so we decided to order the tickets. I have been waiting for them to arrive ever so patiently and was thrilled when I checked my email and saw that the tickets had been shipped. It has been over a week since they were supposed to be here and of course I'm upset.I called the post office to inquire as to there whereabouts and was told that a package was left on my steps a few days ago. Now I'm pissed!
For those who don't know, I live in the 'burbs with tons of houses lining snooty little streets and lots of nosy neighbors. When we moved here, I specifically asked that no package was to ever be left on my doorstep. I'd rather pick it up from the post office rather than risk someone swiping it from my steps. I even filled out a little form stating the same thing. Now here I sit, no package -- no explanation.
This week's golden cock award goes to Tom, my mailman. For his inability to follow directions and perhaps fucking up my chances of watching my team crush my brother's team live and in person, I award him five golden cocks. I am also plotting a way to kidnap him, cut him open, steal his organs, and sell them on the black market in order to purchase new tickets.
2 comments:
Who in their right mind would leave a package on someone's doorstep to begin with? I don't care if you live in the middle of nowhere, as a package delivery service you have to make sure it gets there in one piece. Shit like that shouldn't be allowed.
Robin
@Robin: Believe it or not, it is quite common for mailmen to leave packages (unless they have to be signed for) on your doorstep around here. This is the reason I specifically asked them not to.
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