It's been about two weeks since Dick has been back and I have seemingly developed tourette's syndrome. You see, we discovered that we drive each other insane quite often. We then allow those annoyances to turn into heated arguments which in turn, escalate to an all-out brawl. In order to squash all that, we devised a plan -- when we get on each other's nerves, we say the word cock to get the other to shut the hell up. So far, it is working.The only problem is that I say the word a lot. While grocery shopping, I shout cock as Dick's complaining about the prices began to sound like nails on a chalkboard. While fishing, I yell cock as he is constantly bitching about how windy it is. I said it so many times yesterday while painting that I thought I would begin to show rooster-like behavior. I had already had a habit of saying oh god when I was displeased with something -- throw cock in the mix and I appear to be mental.
The looks I've received are just as funny. The way people react to some crazy bitch shouting cock is downright hilarious. I'm sure some think I'm some sex craved loon, but that's fine by me. It'll give them something to talk about at their next boring luncheon. I'm just glad that I haven't felt the need to polish up my forks and stab Dick in the eyes (yet). I know things will not always be peachy, but for now, I'm going to enjoy the peace and quiet (even if I have to yell cock to get it).
9 comments:
Sporks are easier to use the forks, you can stab and scoop at the same time - just a thought ;)
I hope that things work out, Id hate to see on the news that some woman yelling cock stabbed her husband in the eyes multiple times ;)
@Disposable Pixi: What a news story that would be! They'd show them walking me to the cop car and I'd turn to the camera and offer an "oh god." :)
You're a sex craved loon, Suzie. <3
Regards,
Daniel White
@Webmaster: I love a man that can call it like he sees it. :)
I love women that love men who can honestly call it like he sees it. I'm really practicing to see if I too can pretend to be "straight forward" and "cocky." It takes a lot off effort 'cause I tend to show my true feelings of awe and respect by over-using the word "ma'am" and stepping back and holding open the door and making sure I stay on the street side of the sidewalk when strolling with a lady ...uh, I mean to say "babe."
God, it takes time. But hopefully, with practice I can hide my true self and come across as "one cool honest bastard."
Thanks. You spur me on. (big smile)
"Cock" and "Dick." Girl, you need a new vocabulary. How about shouting "mellifluous" every time you're pissed off? That might turn things around.
@Ralph: You are already one cool honest bastard and that's what I love about you. :)
@Nothing Profound: I may have to give that a try, but I'll never give up totally on cock and dick. :)
Try saying orgonite!:) Seriously, this may seem a bit zany, electromagnetic waves from cell towers ans other sources tend to make us more aggravated. Fwiw, glad to see you back with Dick, Jane... I mean Suzie! ;)
@Being: That's a good tip. Thanks! :)
Post a Comment