I know you’ve seen them – those women walking around with what looks like a damn suitcase draped over their shoulder as if they are on a backpacking journey from coast to coast. If you are anything like me, you’ve been hit several times while walking through the crowded malls by those same oversized bags. Can someone please tell me what in the hell is up with women and their huge purses?What could you possibly carry that needed a bag that big? Maybe with it being around the holidays and the crime rates being up because of it, these women have packed their purses with bricks in order to ward off would-be attackers. One smash from their purse would send any robber running for the hills.
Perhaps my way of doing things has caught on and they have even upped the ante. Not only are they carrying forks in their purses, they are carrying a way to dispose of the body as well. Simply stab the fucker, stuff him in your bag, and drop the package into the nearest dumpster on your way out.
Or could it possibly be women today actually need that much shit to get through the day? I’m not sure the logic to carrying something so big and I doubt I ever will, but I do know this – if I’m ever hit by one again, I swear I will punch the lady in the face, shove her ass in the bag, and toss it in the restroom trash bin.
Damnit, I bruise easily and those bags hurt like hell!
11 comments:
Many years ago I came to the conclusion that carrying a bag of any size was just not for me. My rule these days is if it doesn't fit in my pockets, then I don't need it.
What gets me is the price these women pay for these bags. I'm talking about the money - $400-$500 per bag. Not to mention a dislocated shoulder and severe back pain.
Remember that a good punch starts in the ass.
I have asked several woman why they need a bag that big, and the only one that made any sense is to carry their books and such to class. To replace a backpack
@Me-Me: I know many things I could spend money like that on and NEVER will it be a purse.
@Derek: That makes sense and would probably be the only excuse I would accept.
I love bags and purses. I usually don't do the over-sized thing unless going to classes but bags these days cost so much that maybe these women think they're getting their money's worth.
I think instead of going to jail for punching the woman. Why not just take the purse and get what's inside. So if you get caught, at least it would have been worth it to some degree. Plus, you'll also figure out what they have in those bags.
@Sensico: Good idea, but I have to admit, I'm half scared to find out what is actually in those bags.
Akin to the bag issue is the issue of people carrying those large freakin' golf umbrellas, especially in the city when streets are really crowded.
And of course they never lift them up high; they just traipse along, not paying attention, and leave it to you to feint and duck or risk having your eyes gouged out.
@Larissa and Eric: I'm glad I don't have that problem. I'd probably snatch the damn thing away from them and gouge their own eyes out.
given the recession and all that shit with security in the world going to shit. i think it is a good idea.. you can carry a C4 carbine assault weapon, and then a grenade launcher. couple of rounds. a good fork and a butter knife just in case you go hungry. burn those motherfuckers..
i hate carrying stuff around. and ironically i haven't observerved this phonomenon to great lengths. i'll keep track on them from now on.
and by the way. the people who you really fork and dump are the idiots making these kind of oversized bags in the first place.
When your purse is tiny, you carry a credit card and a lipstick. When your purse is big, you carry around two sleeping bags and a tent. Women are odd like that.
Ha, there is a lady at my kids school she is only 5ft and always has one of these xxxxL bags with her....she is known to us as the name 'bag lady'...can't imagine her being an Emma or Sarah or whatever...yh she looks like her 'name'!
@Nitin: I truly like the way you think!
@Living Shallow: I couldn't agree more.
@claza: Haha! I agree, they tend to look like bag ladies (or strippers).
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