I Have Mail

I have been horrible at answering my "Suzie Q's" so I figured I'd knock them all out with one post. Here goes:

Q: I have to ask, does your husband know about your blog?
A: Yes. He actually read the first couple of posts. Since he's been gone, I doubt he's read any of it, but he does know it's here.

Q: I see you refer to your husband on BC and sometimes you say husband and sometimes you say your ex. Which is it?
A: I honestly don't know where we stand. He literally packed his bags and left one day. If you read my blog, you know as much as I do where I stand with him. I guess it depends on my mood as to what I refer to him as.

Q: You do a lot of mean things. How do you sleep at night?
A: Quite well, thank you.

Q: Are you as bitchy in real life?
A: I blog about my life. If you think I'm bitchy here, you would think I'm bitchy if you met me. I don't change who I am for the sake of the blog.

Q: When do you think you'll start dating again?
A: As soon as I find out where I stand with my ex, husband, Dick.

Q: How are your kids handling the situation?
A: They are holding up pretty well. I never bad-mouth their father to them and I know that helps. They are just as confused as I am as to what is going on, but we're keeping each other's spirits up.

Q: What happens to your blog if you and Dick do split?
A: I'll always be Suzie and will always have something to bitch about.

One More Time For Old Time's Sake

WWSD? Suzie would light the candles, dim the lights, and have some nice background music playing.

Me? I'm going to hell in a hand basket.

Dick came to pick up the kids last night. He had been texting me all day and hinting around as to some possible "things" we could do. He gets here and asks if we can talk. We proceed to the bedroom and shut the door. He says he misses me and wants to you know. I tell him to take the kids to his parent's house and meet me back at our house at eight.

He left, looking like he had just conquered the world.

Eight o'clock rolls around and he's right on time. He opens the door and is greeted with my fine ass (what? I can't think my own ass is fine?) fully dolled up and waiting patiently on the couch. It was all I could do to not burst into laughter while watching him watching me. He had no clue what was coming (a hint -- it wasn't him).

Things begin to get hot and heavy. For a brief second, I missed the good old days where this was actually pleasurable. Just as soon as it was all about to go down, I pushed him off, grabbed my robe, and asked him to leave. He of course, looked confused as hell and I simply said:

"I refuse to be just your sex toy. When you can get your head out your ass long enough to think about the kids and I, then I'll consider giving myself to you again. Until then, I'd rather have sex with Richard Simmons while listening to Sweating to the Oldies. Now if you don't mind, I have some rather meaningful shit to do."

I then locked myself in the bedroom until I heard him leave. God what an asshole! I'm hoping that wasn't his way of saying I'm sorry -- If so, it was pretty pathetic.

Boys Will Be Boys

WWSD? Suzie would know exactly how to handle this situation.

I love that I'm the cool mom. I love that all my kid's friends want to come to our house to play. It's easier to keep my eyes on who they are hanging out with and what they are doing. Having a house full of kids has never bothered me, until now.

One of my son's friends seems to have developed a crush on me. He continues to bring me hand-drawn cards and flowers he has picked from his yard. He has stopped playing with the other kids and just wants to sit and talk to me. It all makes me feel uncomfortable and I have no idea what to do about it as I do not want to hurt his feelings in any way.

I've thought about trying to set him up with one of the neighborhood girls, but if it didn't work out -- I'm scared he'd torch my house. I've thought about being blunt with him, but I see that going just as bad. Perhaps I should just ignore him -- I'm sure his feelings may be hurt, but that seems like my only safe bet.

On the other side, I could use this to my advantage. I could get him to mow my lawn as we know that didn't go over so well with me last time. I could use some help weeding the garden and the flower beds. The fence could stand a few nails here and there and my car could stand a good washing as well. Hmm. This could actually prove to be rather useful. I wonder if he'll accept cupcakes as payment?