A Pill Isn't The Answer

WWSD? Suzie would say okay and welcome him back.

This just in -- I received a text from Dick saying he is willing to go to counseling to figure out why he's such a dick. I said I needed proof and he brought me back a doctor's signed prescription for Zoloft (an anti-depressant).

Okay, wow! I fucked this man over so bad he needs medication? He's sad because he had a woman that took care of him and his children? He can't function because he had everything and now he can't cope? Ugh!

I wish he could switch places with me for one day. I wish he could referee the kids, fix breakfast lunch and dinner, keep the house clean, keep himself looking presentable, go on countless job interviews, battle the old perves on a regular, and feel halfway decent when the day is over. It isn't easy.

Give me medication. Give me something so I can forget the fact that I'm doing this on my own. So I can forget the fact that I could have been so many things, but chose this instead. Give me something so I don't feel bad when my son asks me what I did to make dad go away. Give me the piece of mind to know that karma is really real.

I can't stand people who hide behind shit. If you have problems, admit them and deal with them. Don't hide behind shit or sweep them under the rug. Your problems will always be there until you deal with them -- medication isn't going to do it for you.

Girls Rule, Boys Drool

WWSD? Suzie would talk to the children in a nice, polite way and ask them to behave.

Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that all the neighborhood kids want to play over at our house. What I don't like is that they are all boys and often end up picking on my daughter (who is not only the only girl, but the youngest as well). She often gets the short end of the stick and after hearing them torment her yesterday, I decided enough was enough.

They were playing kickball and nobody wanted the girl on their team. After hearing countless You take her. No you take her! I threw on my tennis shoes, marched my ass outside, and said Look, boys against girls. All the boys looked dumbfounded, but agreed. So my daughter and I took our places, ready to kick the shit out of the ball -- and that we did.

For thirty minutes, we beat the snot out of the guys. They couldn't keep up, could not get us out to save their lives, and were getting pretty pissed off. I couldn't help but laugh at their pitiful excuses for why they were losing to a couple of girls and listening to them constantly placing blame on each other. Finally, one of the boy's mom called for him to go home. As he was getting ready to leave, my daughter said Girls rule, boys drool! The little boy hung his head and did the walk of shame home.

I'm hoping those boys learned their lesson and if not, I think I'll suggest a friendly game of dodgeball next time -- complete with a lead filled ball.

Tool Foolery

WWSD? Suzie would wait patiently or hire a handyman.

Dick was serious this time. The real estate agent arrived today, looked over the house, and told us what we needed to do. Apparently, it isn't as cut and dry as I had originally thought. We will have to make a few repairs and fix some minor eyesores before we can even list the house. Unfortunately, this is going to take longer than I had thought and most of the repairs require power tools -- which is not my area of expertise.

Dick, being the cheap twat that he is, wants to save money and do the repairs himself. Problem is, he doesn't have keys to the house and I don't want to be anywhere near him. This means that I have to find somewhere for the kids and I to go whenever he wants to bring his sorry ass over here and fix shit. Great.

I think I'll start watching the Home and Garden Channel and the Do It Yourself Network 24/7 instead. Between all the info and my ability to improvise catch on quickly, I should be able to give Bob Villa a run for his money in no time flat. Within a week, I should be swinging a hammer, operating the drill, and sawing wood like I've done it all my life. And if not, I will at least have learned how to use a table saw properly (this will come in handy when I cut Dick up into bite-size pieces for the fish).

Wish me luck. If I don't become discouraged by the fact that these people can renovate a whole house in thirty minutes (minus ten minutes for commercials), I'll definitely be discouraged by the fact that I have yet to work up enough courage to turn the jigsaw on.